GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER?

There have been a lot of those emails and Facebook posts lately about 'How you know you are a mother of boys' or 'You know when you are a mother when' blah blah blah.  I find them amusing, so I thought I would compile a little list of my own, courtesy of things I have done myself, and have seen others doing.

So....it is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman who does any of the following things must be a mother of small children:

1.  Wipes her daughter's snotty nose with the tracksuit pants her son just did a wee in.
2.  Has a tantrum and throws a toy and breaks it, in front of her children.
3.  Does the 'poo check' while driving down the motorway by sticking a finger in the nappy, and then finds there is a finger covered in runny poo when it is retrieved.
4.  Pretended she did not see the child smash the toy because she just cannot handle the tantrum that will follow if she reprimands as she should, and she also knows she did the same thing an hour ago with the can opener.
5. Walked swiftly away from her children and pretended they weren't hers, leaving them with her partner/wife/husband because she is embarrassed by their behaviour.
6. Told her son the police officer was a 'bad guy' because he pulled Mummy over and booked her for going through a stop sign near school.
7.  Asked her elderly father to take out his teeth and show his toothless grin to her children saying, 'Now this is what will happen to you if you that fourth biscuit'.
8.  Picked ear wax out of her baby's ear with a fingernail and wiped it on her jeans. Ditto for a bit of snot.
9.  Pulled the covers back and let the sun dry out the wet sheets on the bed because she could not be bothered washing the sheets AGAIN.

And finally ...
10.  Has a serious discussion at the dinner table about what Darth Vader's farts might really sound like.

TIDBIT: While waiting at the Doctor's this morning, my mother and I discovered an interesting bit of trivia. Lord Nelson was the only British Admiral to have sight in only one eye. My mother, showing she still has her brilliant wit, remarked beautifully; 
'He was the only Seaman who could say "aye". All the others had to say "aye-aye"'.

What would Jane say? 

I suspect Jane had a little thing for men in uniform because many of her female characters are attracted to them 

'The Streets of that gay bathing place covered with officers...She saw all the glories of the camp; it's tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines, crowded with the young and the gay, and dazzling with scarlet; and to complete the view, she saw herself seated beneath a tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once'.  

Lydia Bennett, you were always going to get yourself into trouble with that attitude!